17 year old out of control son with ADD

by Daphne
(Toronto )

Hi my name is Daphne and I have ADD as well as my son Andrew.


We live in Toronto and can't find either a Doctor or any financial help and Andrew is getting out of control.

I heard there were programs out there to help people with ADD but I can't seem to find them.

I really need help because I have no family or friends to help me and Andrew is getting angrier everyday.

I also don't have much money and I had to declare personal bankruptcy. Thank you. Daphne

Comments for 17 year old out of control son with ADD

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Turning the anger into a useful tool
by: JackieJ

Your don't mention your own anger and frustration and (as a person over age 50 who has spent a lifetime learning how to live well with ADHD - most members of my family have it, as I do) it is important to see ADHD not as a disability, but a strength, and then use the strengths to remove the roadblocks causing the frustration/anger.

The anger isn't from not getting help, it is from feeling trapped, and as if nothing can possibly get any better. It can, with a good plan (hard for us with ADHD) and action (what we're good at).

See if you can have a calm, honest, adult-to-(almost)adult conversation with your son. Tell him, honestly, how ADHD has affected your life. Ask for his help - does he see ways that you and he as a team could problem-solve, using ADHD strengths such as creativity, good ideas, thinking-outside-the-box, energy, passion?

Think of this as starting to build the relationship you want to have with your adult son - much different than 'dealing' with an angry teenager. My son and I fought through his teen years, and it was awful. And very hard to build some tentative bridges (but we have) to a point where we have a pleasant (but not as close as I would like) relationship now - he is now 27 and living a good life but was, not so long ago, very, very angry.

I have said here what I wish someone had said to me when he was an 'acting up' 9-year-old and that is, value the person, don't focus on the anger, it's just a symptom.

You have some very real, tough issues, but the relationship with your son is the most important, and the one YOU have the power to change.

I wish you the best - and will be looking for your update on this site

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to ask Graeme Treeby.


You may also be interested in....

Based on the submissions and comments on this topic, there are a number of products that may be of help to you.  At no cost to you, I've set up an auto-generated product finder from our affiliate partners to showcase special needs products that are likely be of help to you.

Just click on any product that you'd like to know more about, and you'll be taken to the merchant for that product.  The product information will open in a new tab in your browser, so don't worry, we'll be right here waiting for you when you're done... :-)

Hope this helps!




Sign up for our FREE Newsletter

Get Tax Tips for Canadians with Disabilities, FREE when you sign up for our newsletter.
Sign up now to get updates and special offers!

You may also be interested in:

If I find good products that I think offer value and would be of interest to my site visitors, I occasionally will provide my visitors with an affiliate link.  
Some (but not all) of the links on this site are to my affiliate referrals. Some of these links, esp from Amazon or Google are auto-generated, based on site content and visitor preferences. At no cost to you, an affiliate may pay me a small referral fee, which goes towards the cost and maintenance of this site.  
Any recommendation or referral I offer my visitors is independent of the existence of a possible affiliate fee, and my primary goal is to provide my visitors with useful information. 
If you have any questions about this, please contact me.


Comments are moderated - by a human who also lives offline.  
Please allow up to 48 hours before comments are displayed.

comments powered by Disqus

FREE Tax Tips
when you sign up for our FREE newsletter. Sign up now to get updates and
special offers!


Featured Products

Back Zip Jumpsuits / Pajamas 

Back Zipper Pajamas for Children - Polar Fleece



Free Shipping on Toy orders $25 or over!!


Teaching Students with Special Needs in Inclusive Settings, Fifth Canadian Edition

Skylanders Superchargers Light It Up Blue Autism Speaks Special Edition